Bittersweet

There was a man at my first job
That I almost fell in love with.
He was funny and ornery--
On breaks he'd come to my table and sit.

I never thought any man would
Think of me that way--I'd just be a buddy.
From what I heard at school, work and my Dad--
If someone fell for me, they'd have to be nutty.

When we'd go to lunch with a group of
Friends to a Chinese restaurant, he sat
Across from me and would shoot peas
At me and when caught put on an innocent act.

We always pestered each other,
He was nice looking in a non-traditional way.
He called my home one evening--
This is what he had to say:

He was getting married soon,
To a girl he met through his new job.
I said congratulations--be happy.
I couldn't even sob.

I left a message for one of my friends,
And told her he was engaged.
She called me later that night
To be sure I was okay.

Years passed, I got a new job,
And was set up by a co-worker
With the man I did fall in love with.
We had 4 1/2 years together.

But as before, it was not meant
To be--he became ill with cancer
And passed away.  I think of him
Every day, sad--but not bitter.