IN MY SOLITUDE

When things get crazy--I withdraw into my solitude.  In my solitude are the memories that are burned into my brain and left scars on my heart. Being told I was stupid, fat and ugly, and would never amount to anything and never get married, being called a spinster since I was 16 or 17.  Being told by a male co-worker that if cooking was all it took to get a man, I'd have been married long ago.   Reinforcing my father's words.  Being harrassed in Junior High because I was white.  A teacher convinced I was lying when I said I had done a project myself, and she wouldn't believe me.  Giving me an F on the project.  I was having health issues, but no one would listen. I had 2 doctors send notes to school and one of my teachers saying I had a medical issue and could not take her class.  She asked who "I bought off" to get out of class.  When I graduated, my first job lasted 14 years,  Then they started cutting hours because business was slow.  A friend helped me find another job at a clinic. The lady that hired me treated me like dirt because she decided I didn't like her.  News to me!!  When my immediate supervisor transferred to a different dept. I was next in line for the job.  The lady that hired me decided to eliminate the position.  Then the main boss got transferred to another area and we had some interim bosses until they hired one to replace her.  This woman had been a boss at another clinic.  She wanted her buddies to work for her.  The only word to describe her was what the staff called her:  EVIL.  She either treated people so badly they transferred somewhere else, or quit altogether.  Then she hired her friends as replacements and have them tell her everything they heard and saw.  She would design situations so that if they didn't do as she said--they were fired.  She even humilitated me in front of everyone at a staff meeting.  She fired me.  Later I heard she had been let go.  Talk about Karma!  I'm not whining, just remembering things that were detrimental to me, is nothing compared to the problems now.  I'M A SURVIVOR.