DEAR KAREN

I know this comes as too little and WAY too late,
But it's a burden on my heart that I have to release.
We were so close as children, we'd have sleepovers
At each other's homes.  We were close, and loved to tease.

But then lightening struck out of the blue--
Due to anger, divorce, grudges, and our paternal
Parents pride--we didn't see each other much anymore.
I was given the reason you wanted nothing to do with us all.

When you and your son were hurt in that bad
Car wreck, I wanted to be there for you so badly--
I was too weak.  My older sister that was considered the
Black sheep came to you--battles weren't new to her with family.

When your son passed due to his injuries, when I saw
You at the funeral--I just wanted to hug you tight.
But you were in both physical and emotional pain and
Easing my sorrows then, just didn't seem right.

Then our fathers, and the rest of their family built
Walls of anger between us, and I lacked the
Courage to knock them down to connect with you.
And people say I help everyone, HAH!

We'd see you and your Mom and her husband
Sometimes at the grocery store.  We'd speak
Like polite strangers--nothing more.  Then when
I heard you'd died from cancer, I cried for over a week.

We were at your funeral, Dad almost made a scene.
Your Dad had passed:  Uncle Junior decided to
Represent their side.  It wasn't until after your
Mom's funeral that your sister and kids told us the truth.

You and your Dad fought all the time--just like
Uncle Junior and us.  You had a bad second marriage
To an SOB--we never knew that--no one talked anymore.
I wish I'd had the courage and been there for you.

I'm trying to be braver.  I still don't care for confrontations,
But when it comes to Mom & family, and I
Need to, our fathers tempers come out full load.
Beware anyone in it's path, then I'm not shy.

I wish I'd been there for you--as I said:
I didn't think I was wanted there.  I wish I
Could've shown you I loved you like a sister.
I didn't even get to say goodbye.

Dad is gone, as well as all of his siblings.  My "Black
Sheep" sister is gone too.  What is left behind
Is a semi-estranged family we're trying to reconnect.
I wish I'd had the courage to step over their line.